Why are we talking about loving yourself more instead of loving others more?

It begins with you. Without love inside your own heart for you, there is little to give. When serving others, the first rule is the same as an airplane when it loses cabin pressure or being out in the middle of the ocean, you must save (love) yourself first then you can save (love) others.

The more love you have inside, the more you have to give. The more you give, the more love fills up inside.

I’m blessed with an amazing soulmate, Chika.

It wasn’t always that way. For the first 30 years of my life, I had a hard time loving myself. When I didn’t love myself, it was hard to give out love. It affected my self esteem, happiness, and fulfillment in life. Every morning I am grateful to have her in my life.

I’m writing this after a great morning of surprising my wife with breakfast in bed and a bouquet of flowers. We had her favorite which is a cheese omelette. (Mozzarella works really well for the gooey melty filling) We took a few pics to send to our relatives.

We are about to head on out for a beautiful hike and enjoy the view at Griffith Park Observatory. If you haven’t been there, you should check it out. It was featured a lot in the movie Yes Man with Jim Carrey.

So here it is: 7 Simple Ways to Love Yourself More

1) Decide to love yourself. – It begins with you. A decision means to cut off any other possibilities other than loving yourself.

2) Celebrate all successes big and small. – When you don’t celebrate the small successes you’ll be less motivated to continue. A simple way is to give yourself 10 pats on the back.

3) Express your love. – Look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say 3 times: “I thank you. I appreciate you. I love you.” Do it a 4th time twice as loud with a smile on your face.

4) Be compassionate on yourself. – This one could be the most powerful of them all. Realize right now that you always do the best you can with the resources you have. Beating yourself up never helps and only hurts. Acknowledge what happened and shift your focus to what you want.

5) Acknowledge your inner critic. – I used to be my biggest critic. Instead of ignoring the negative self talk or doubt. Acknowledge and embrace it. Say “Thank you for sharing. You served me in the past, I appreciate you and no longer need you.”

6) Become your biggest cheerleader. – With compassion and celebration, your inner critic will turn into your biggest cheerleader encouraging you giving you hope and motivation. Choose a couple of empowering “I AM” statements. Ex: I am an endless fountain of unconditional love. I am a powerful unstoppable loving caring playful lightning bolt of energy.

7) Let your inner kid play. – We all have a little boy or little girl inside us. If we don’t get to play, we get sad or throw temper tantrums. Schedule time for yourself to play. What did you love to do when you were little? Sing? Dance? Draw? Go skipping? Play in the dirt? You will nourish your spirit and your soul.

Be playful! Remember we are all kids inside.

Enjoy your day with yourself and with your loved ones. Don’t have a partner right now? No problem, that’s easy. You attract who you are. So if you love you, you will attract others who will love you. =)

“Wherever you go, there you are.”

Lots of love,

Nevertheless, somewhere deep inside of me wondered if it is at all possible. If I’m loving,would the world become more loving? If I’m compassionate, would others become more compassionate as well? If I’m happy, would all the people around me live in that happiness as well? … The endless possibilities boiled within me and my curiosity wanted to know more. If at all these narcissistic claims are possible, how would I experience it or even capture that data?

I finally decided to conduct an informal scientific experiment – at the airport. I knew I had to find something to keep me intrigued while waiting in the endless lines at LAX, so why not make use of that time wisely? The objective – to find if my sincere openness and loving smiles would allow others to be more open and loving. The time – 6pm, May 6th, 2009. The place – LAX. The subjects – anyone I can naturally strike up a conversation with.

Subject #1 – The curb side assistant

Input – I smiled at him openly and nodded my head to acknowledge his presence.

Result – He quickly smiled back and started running to help me with my luggage.

Input – I said “thank you” sweetly.

Result – He glowed with love and said “you made my day sweetie.”.

Subject #2 – The airport security

Input – I acknowledged him with my eyes as I walked pass him seeing the beauty inside of him underneath his hard emotionless professional mask.

Result – He softened and started to glow with happiness. Everyone around him seem to have been hit by this magnetic radiation as well without realizing what just happened. As I watched him from afar, all of a sudden he was giving helping hands to the elders and giving directions to the lost – with a sincere smile on his face! He later enthusiastically waved to me as I walked by the second time.

Subject #3 – The old lady in line behind me

Input – No one was conversing in line so I decided to strike up a conversation with the old lady behind me – with a smile.

Result – Laughter and smiles somehow penetrated each person like a domino effect. All of a sudden people were talking to each other about the weather, about traveling, and about secrets to happiness! Within 5 minutes, we were all introducing ourselves to one another and I’ve gained 10 new friends in the process.

Subject #4 – The carry on security check lady

Input – “Gosh, it smells like feet here!” I exclaimed with such intensity.

Result – She was grumpy and soon started laughing and replied “I wonder why?!” Suddenly she passed on my comment to several other attendees near by and we all started laughing.

Subject #5 – The Segway police officers

Input – “Awesomeness!!!” I exclaimed as I check out their new toys.

Result – Three Segway officers and I started chatting. One of them offered the other’s Segway for me to test drive. But we realized the security cameras are on, so someone would get in trouble if I actually got close to the Segways. They did give me demos such as the figure 8, two Segway dance, and top speed up a ramp. It was totally radical! By the end we were all laughing so hard and glad to be working our abs in the process.

SO – that was how I spent an hour of my pre-boarding time in LAX – conducting my experiments and having a blast!

Conclusion: My positive attitude and loving smiles do have an extraordinary impact on the world around me.

Discussion: I have asked why this was the case. Does that mean as I heal myself – through inner evolution, my state of being becomes more positive and fun loving naturally? Does this act turn another opportunity for others to experience the warmth radiating through me? Does the power lie within the authenticity of my beingness? What is the scientific basis of this conscious infection? As I dive into this subject, there are only more questions floating to the surface. More experiences are needed for a greater conclusion and I hope we can all gather as much data as possible.

I hope you will conduct your own experiments and see if your attitude and actions have an impact on your world. I would love to hear about your experience during your own research on the quest of “inner evolution for world transformation.

For more info on Flo Li, go to http://innersuccessblueprint.com or her blog on the blogroll on this page.